You think you know everything about Pokémon? Those elemental critters from a realm shown to us only by Nintendo that we force to battle with each other using handheld consoles. Sorry to ruin your dreams and wishes, but Pokémon are real, and they are not what you think. That is why we must bring you The Truth.

The Truth[edit | edit source]

Pokémon were actually dreamed up by Nintendo, but not for our entertainment. The handheld consoles they distrubuted their Pokémon games to are actually simulators designed to do all the testing of the best trait customization of their genetically engineered little creatures. The Truth also is that Pokémon are lab experiments by Nintendo to create a breed of super-soldiers/attack critters by which to take over the world. Their latest invention, the Nintendo 3DS, is designed to teleport these Pokémon out of the screens at the chime of a signal.

Rumours[edit | edit source]

  • A number of Orion's Tears undercover in Japan have uncovered hints which tell us that the leader and trump card of Nintendo's army is going to be a Walrein with unspeakable power. They hinted that they knew more, but were forced into hiding at the sudden appearance of a Viking army led by Thor. Beware, for this user has already risked their life to bring you this information.
  • In 2021, it was revealed that Pokémon was not actually ran by Nintendo any more, instead it was ran by the evil team Smogon, whose job was to make Pokémon less fun by adding rules to the battles in the game, this was denied by Nintendo, of course.
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