You may think Mars is real. Do you know what? You are most definitely wrong. Mars is actually a satellite created by Russia while in alliance with the entities known as Them. It was created in 1840 after the construction of a time machine. Them and Russia needed to use the time machine to kidnap cyborg time traveling George Washington to force him to build the satellite with his cyborg arms. The satellite is armed by a massive superlaser designed Leonardo da Vinci, who was also kidnaped by Them and Russia. They plan to fire it in 2017, the year doctor who is rumored to end before its reapearencee in 2022. The only way to survive is to cross the Canadian border and get teleported to the secret sub contanent under China.