The Legion of Super Duper Evil Stuff, sometimes referred to as the LOSDES, is a secret underground organization that is thought to be responsible for a small portion of the world's terrorist plots, and nearly all of the world's terrorist plots that involve cheddar cheese. This organization is the only reason that Al-Quaida said that they masterminded 9/11 because Al Quaida knows The Truth and they dont want you to know the real reason for 9/11. This organization is in fact so secret that the only way to contact them is through the use of a very very long paper cup telephone that is connected to their headquarters
Members[edit | edit source]
The LOSDES is made up of an assembly of random people from across the globe and is lead by american comedian Conan O'Brien. Other official members include:
- Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales
- Wanye West
- Zombie Jon Lennon
- Thomas, from the Bowling alley
- Spongebob Squarepants
- Vladmir Putin's goldfish
- Lieutenant General Seretse Khama Ian Khama, former Vice-President of Botswana
- Nick Clegg
History[edit | edit source]
The Sixties[edit | edit source]
Russia started work on the LOSDES, some time in the mid 60's. They, in war with the US, founded a way to combat, the internet, a new intelligence the American military had been working on. This was just the beginning for the LOSDES. After years of Russian planning and spying, they eventually decided to make this division of their government, a secret society under the USSR's wing. They looked for new men, trained and armed for combat, but nothing sufficed. It wasn't until the earlier 2000's when Russia looked for some of their sleeper agents in America for help.
Conan O'Brien[edit | edit source]
Well, diary, we were sitting around the TV watching some obnoxious Billy Mays infomercial when out of nowhere Jimmy was like "hey, dude, you know what would be funny? If we took over the planet!" Agreeing, we started nodding our heads in approval, except for Goldfish McPutin who pretty much lacked a physical head, but I would assume that he agreed to it. And so our revolution began! — A diary excerpt from Conan O'Brien's diary dated in the 90's.
The discovery of this diary has led people to beleive that Conan and LOSDES are linked to many events and phenomenon such as crop circles, Wikipedia, the stock market crash of 1929, and are probably at least partailly responsible for the fact that there are always less chips in the bag than you expect.
Accomplishments in History[edit | edit source]
Wikipedia[edit | edit source]
Thanks to Conan's right-hand, Jimmy, Wikipedia was expanded upon much since its creation in the sixties. This is also, a result of Russian funding, of course. The site has grown into a billion page encyclopedia of "information". Wikipedia has been using this information to inform Russia of history and random celebrity nonsense across both the globe and the universe.
Volcanoes[edit | edit source]
Volcanoes are not actually creations of the LOSDES, they are creations of the eviler organization and religious movement, known as GOD. It is what is inside of these deadly mountains that is a creation of the LOSDES. Inside, what you may think is a lava pit of doom, is actually a secret underground laboratory. You see, these labs are used to acquire info on the secret projects and such, it's a simple process really. As stated, these places were originally created by GOD, not the LOSDES, but that doesn't mean that the LOSDES have nothing to do with their origin as the LOSDES have many roots that can be traced back to GOD.
SpongeBob SquarePants[edit | edit source]
The hit television show, SpongeBob SquarePants, is yet another creation of the LOSDES. This organization, in cahoots with Nickelodeon, founded the show in order to "entertain children". This is what Conan and his men told the network executives of Nick. This is yet another lie the LOSDES has performed. The show's actual purpose was to extract intelligence from kids. This, unfortunately for the Russian leaders, failed horribly. This wasn't the first time at this though. Many small serials were performed in the '60s and '70s to begin this division of the the LOSDES's plans to attack through entertainment. Even today, Nickelodeon and the LOSDES still run the television phenomena, but now people have a much different outlook on the show.
Where now[edit | edit source]
The Truth is that these radical malcontents are still out there, plotting their "vile" schemes. You may think that O'Brien is actually just a comedian on cable T.V., but then again, you can't be trusted. It seems indefinitely that they would still be around, seeing as how Conan's fan-base and Jimmy's "political career" are vastly growing, with that being said it's very easy to infer The Truth on what the LOSDES is really planning.