Lava Lamps are eye-catching accessories for a home's living room. However, that's just what the common-minded folk like yourself have been tricked into believing by sinister witches like Brandon Rhea.

The Truth Edit

Lava lamp

Seriously, how did you not notice?

While they may look like pretty decorations, these warm tubes of liquid and wax are actually machines used to observe average family life. The Truth about these machines is sad, but true — the wicked Christine O'Donnell has used these devices to track her and her coven's next targets. O'Donnell developed a thorough plan to strike fear into the hearts of men, and use it to take over, thus creating a mindless slave army. However, her original plans failed miserably, so over time, she has changed her plans and strategies numerous times.

History and decline Edit

Lava lamps have been around for more than 1000 years. The first recorded lava lamps were found in southern Asia, in a small Indian town. From the very beginning, it's been known that lava lamps have carried a small enchantment of witchcraft. In the early days, Lava lamps were originally thought to keep spirits away, but with time, lava lamps became closely associated with Satanists. During the middle ages, lava lamps had seemed to had disappeared, only to be found by collectors and the very, very rich as witches were horribly outlawed by the people of the time. After several long centuries, Christine O'Donnell's plan finally went fully into action. In the 1900s, lava lamps went more publicly and were considered "hip" and "fresh" for the new generation. However, as with most "in" items, lava lamps reached a sharp decline, thus weakening O'Donnell's plan.

While sales of lava lamps has declined, that's only because the witches have reached new means of hiding their appearance and waiting until the perfect moment to strike. As shown with most modern day witches, discovered by a secret task force within the Secret Police, witches have been able to stalk their prey by more unconventional means.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.