Conspiracy Wiki

Welcome to the Conspiracy Wiki
Have you ever noticed that everyone seems to be Conspiring against you? If not, don't worry &mdash; we have, and we're here to help you wake up and realize that there are lies all around you. The Conspiracy Wiki was the first wiki to unveil the grand conspiracy that ''' the government is the president is  the houses of parliament are your grandmother is Peter Pan is  conspiracy theorists are my best friend John is the Google Maps developers are your landlord is Spanish teachers are some nerd is bitcoin supporters are a group of intelligent dik-diks are free-software developers are "social" justice warriors are Tumblr users are the Loch Ness monster is games journalists are everyone but you are Windows XP is the admins on this wiki are heavy metal musicians are Americans are God is George Lucas is  Shrek is  Wikia is  walruses are not your mother is we are normal people like you are gay people are the creepy neighbor is occasionally garden gnomes aren't  Chuck Norris is  the water company is  Mr T. is not curtains are the national debt is Glenn Beck is  News International is  scientists are Wikipedia is sactage is  the internet is  EA Games is  your computer is  the Seven Dwarves are not the monsters under your bed are John F. Kennedy is Space is  Random Number Generators are You are Time Magazine is what You know as  is  your family actually is  Conan O'Brien is  The media is  Microsoft is  Sactage producing counterfeit Magic cards evil actually one of the nicest things I've ever seen preparing to sue you liberal a liberal scheme conservative planning to kill anyone with political views planning to kill anyone without political views a conservative plot stating opinions as facts playing the flute at international events not returning our calls the real victim in the financial crisis the real cause of the financial crisis stealing your water plotting to kill Peter Frampton writing songs for Rebecca Black in the mafia senile working for a Russian Spy agency zombies actually two midgets in a dinosaur suit really Justin Beiber hiding all the good music killing faries murdering children in an underground base writing fake conspiracy theories on a wiki in secret talks with the president really Santa in disguise planning to destroy freedom as you know it firing rockets at the moon changing your opinion rigging the lottery not American actually American the antagonist of a video game giving out free business cards telling the truth lying to get drugs from old ladies going to move to Sweeden the Prime Minister of Iceland eating fish doing my maths homework beating up a homeless guy to get his wallet putting eggs in a fridge withdrawing money from your bank account rolling dice to create alternative universes making tough moral choices in space jaywalking killing puppies plotting world domination

'''. You must be shocked, I'm sure. I certainly was. But that's not the end of it. You see, this is just the first stage in the master plan of a group of shadowy ''' government officials hackers white nationalists wiki editors freemasons imprisonedmasons butchers, bakers and candlestick makers farmers railway operators superheroes people with sensitive teeth Twilight fans engineers elite ninjas society of your evil boyfriends fans of Naruto fans of Bleach fans of Mermaid Melody software engineers robots haberdashers unlicensed doctors steam machines mobile phones evil British people shadows nurses italian plumbers dead undertakers robotic advanced lifeforms emotionless super-chimps hippies Libertarians Liberals Conservatives Progressives Regressives heavy metal musicians devil worshipers Muslims Christians music industry executives lizards homeless people n00bs anonymous users' sockpuppets |_337 5P34|<RZ contractors cowboys and aliens actors who have played James Bond crew members of the USS Enterprise teenage mutant ninja turtles Pokémon card game players social workers unemployed people button manufacturers women men racists feminists meninists completely ordinary people undertale fans Kings and Queens Wikia admins computers reactionary politicians fans of Ayn Rand clones of the Queen of England LGBT activists walruses Scientologists lesbians GameFAQs users Men's Rights Activists astronauts  who have decided that, because they have  too much money not enough power not enough drugs watched Firefly listened to the Spice Girls all the gold in the world discovered the secret to flight got into a room that you can't access done their homework murdered an AI a crush on you your mobile phone number the power to ban your reddit account from r/towels too much free time recovered the Arrow of Apollo a bitcoin Tom Cruise on their side</option been around the world, from London to LA learnt Italian an interest-free loan a clean bill of health lost their keys terminal cancer [THIS STATEMENT REDACTED BY THE US GOVERNMENT -- DO NOT PANIC -- THE AGENTS SURROUNDING YOUR HOUSE ARE JUST A PRECAUTION] a vaccinate that will cure cows of flu a gun pointed at your head no bugs in their 10000 line computer program a bad feeling about this final exams tomorrow 16 years left to live a bowl of coco pops a really big house in the country taken control of the Kremlin a stolen prototype of Half Life 3 been to an anime convention discovered the secret to manipulating the weather a way to make free energy abandoned the gold standard returned to Mount Zion summoned a great demon written a bestseller resurrected Richard Nixon spoken to the president in secret been to Japan run out of walrus jokes lived in Russia all their life no love for the American people a misguided sense of loyalty to the communist party your vote already hot chocolate control of the oil supply coffee to get to the top of Witch Mountain by midnight a $5 Foot Long 6 of the 7 Horcruxes defeated Morgoth's Balrog driven away the English army found your MySpace page found a Shiny Mew on Pokémon offsite backups been up all night to get lucky deadlines ownership of the means of production an orchestra made out of wax models of famous musicians some water a presidential candidate's phone number started calling wikis Wikias invented their own language made enough walrus jokes on the homepage of a website a really bad idea a two dollar bill 64.9 gallons of concentrated maple syrup a spacecraft made out of dinosaur bones admin rights on an obscure wiki chat hacks a NeoPets account tissue paper a golf cart intimidated somebody once grown an inch learned how to tie a knot friends in the VSTF a top hat Stacey's Mom series 3 of Sherlock the Declaration of Independence the key to your heart a yo-yo  - nobody would dare stop them if they  took over the world invaded Poland started a Rock band tried to kill Justin Beiber started a Wiki aimed at releasing rebelled against England cheated at football summoned Satan from his dark pit meddled in the Olympics stole everybody's toothbrush repeated every word you say in an annoying faction evolved the Wikia skin to make it better took drugs broke Wikia Search built a navy stopped building a navy took a day off called RansomTime a walrus said the word cuck a lot threw a grenade at a squid made a controversial joke tried to give you a hug shot bats with a pistol spread rabies to the UK re-wrote the Lord of the Rings, inserting their half-truths into it  bombed Russia stole your iPhone told everyone to stop being so racist oppressed women were nice to people for a change attacked the air nomads stopped making superhero movies created a wiki about fake conspiracy theories stopped oppressing women won the lottery bombed the USA from a city in the sky bothered Snape kidnapped your teenage daughter in Paris convinced young people to join the Navy created a hit K-Pop song went back in time and cancelled Firefly destroyed mathematics as we know it picked a 4th carry legalized homicide determined the speed of light using chocolate and a microwave fixed the outcome of a high-school basketball game sent an email to ask for a day off talked to weirdos on the internet faked some market research data ate human flesh adopted the future president of the United States rebooted the Large Hadron Collider made some water in the middle east slightly more expensive wrote an album of calm relaxing music walked around in the street whilst wearing clothes drove a train around a track slightly faster than they are supposed to had a party downloaded music illegally killed unborn children released the unholy Kraken from the depths of the earth recruited dead people for their army of immortals re-skinned google Chrome and called it "Google Ultron" dodged millions of dollars worth of tax gave money to a group of anthropomorphic dogs had a bath played cards against humanity with the homepage of this website gave you slightly incorrect change kidnapped your wife adopted Community Central added openly LGBT characters to video games reinvented conventional English stereotypes added new features to Tumblr removed the ability to reply to Tumblr posts searched YouTube for One Direction Songs made Half-Life 5 ate your dog added options to the Conspiracy Wiki homepage fell in love with RansomTime looked at images of people in slightly revealing clothing killed a spider started a conspiracy harrassed women in the name of ethics in games journalism turned Facebook into an educational website made the school day thirty seconds longer copyrighted Corn Flakes listened to obscure indie music had opinions vandalised the Pooh's Adventures wiki '''.

Luckily, you're here, and we can tell you &mdash; but be careful. They'll try and tell you it's a lie, and that this website is just a parody...but you know &mdash; and you can tell them that they're wrong. Request a new conspiracy

This page may be CENSORED by the US Government. Click here to reload the page and check